Why do I worship?

 

I’m a believer, having deep reverence for all the religions, their teachings and beliefs. Don’t know how to put it better but ever since I recollect, I was a curious child always wanting to accompany my grandma to her temple visits. Back then, it was just an eagerness to pluck flowers on the way and watch her worship. And to this day, I’ve gone to temple almost daily as long as I’m not on a journey or under imposed lockdown. Somehow, every time when we were posted to a new place, the temple used to be around the corner, so call it more of an excuse which turned into a habit.

Previous evening was a bit gloomy at my place with moderate cold weather and seasonal intermittent rain showers giving a wild feel of rainforest weather. There were very sparse people to be seen around. I enjoyed the way to our temple feeling the gentle breeze, the seemingly endless dark sky and those little drops of joy falling on us inherently. When I reached our campus temple with my sister, I met my dad’s senior officer there. He too is an ardent believer of God, as presumed by me, because he visits temple everyday after his evening walk. So, we meet quite often, yesterday not being an exception definitely. On reaching there, we greeted him and his wife, and he asked me in an inquisitive tone, “Ek baat batao, tum Bhagwan se kya maangte ho?”- meaning “Tell me one thing, what do you ask for, from God”. Well, no wonder he knows very well that we too regularly visit temple and a curious mind of his would’ve definitely come up with this question long back. Believe me, at that very moment, I knew exactly what was my straight-away answer but somehow, what I popped out was “Hum bas pooja karte hain.”-meaning “We only worship”. And we had a very brisk smiles on our faces although behind the mask. I saw him when his face widened, and eyes shrunk and then regained normal while I just hesitatingly giggled inside. Huh! What a blunt and direct answer was it, which I realised as soon as I had delivered it. Maybe I wanted to avoid the awkwardness of not being able to express it in words or maybe to avoid being questioned any further. Also knowing the fact that he has done a course on psychology for Officers recruitment in the organisation, made me a bit more reluctant to say anything any further. Although he left a few minutes after the light conversation, I continued pondering about the same.

The question was neither answered nor passed, I was still to submit an answer. The rain was more significant now, just as the question was in my mind. I couldn’t make peace with myself of having hesitated for saying something which I’m very much clear, specific and confident about. Why do I worship? Why was it hard for me to submit it? Why couldn’t I believe in my capability to express, my deepest desire to be the disciple of the most righteous teacher? And how advertently, I wished for that inner conscience which would enlighten me for the right from the wrong. I would proudly admit that I wished to be as blessed as Arjun, who was not just a disciple but also a very dear friend of the divine soul. He would’ve laughed or maybe be awestruck at what I told. But, never mind, isn't that just what I wanted to express the moment I was questioned. However, it was important to acknowledge not just to myself, but to my own intuition. Not to resist, but to give power to that expression. For me the mythologies are the ultimate source of knowledge, and being. And that I fervently look up to be a small illuminating soul. I Sometimes, read instances from the Greek, sometimes from the bible, sometimes from the Janamsakhis, other times from the Bhagwad Geeta, not all in detail but I respect what little I seek from those impeccable omniscients. Those are not just books but the most sacrosanct and virtuous living immortals.

Well thanks to him, I gave a thought to what I thought and why I thought. What I asked for was just a good heart and a positive mind and the ability to cultivate those while I strived to reach my goal. Not that everybody should become ascetic and stop following what follows, but to improve and manifest us as a part of the divine whole. To quote it right, from the very sacred Bhagwad Geeta, “The willingness to sacrifice oneself is the hallmark of performing one’s duty, but with the application of a balanced mind.”. Being religious is not necessarily visiting temple everyday, nor worshiping hammer-and-tongs but to be right, do right, support right, to follow right and believe right.

                                                                                                  VEDIKA